#that’s my wife too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dramaticmotionblur · 5 days ago

Text

guys hear me out. agatha absorbs the power of anyone who blasts her right? so my theory is the “when she calls u a coward, hit the deck” line is not so much to save agatha, but so that whoever blasts agatha might be saved so we don’t get a repeat of what happened to alice

THEREFORE COMMA if it ends up being rio (or jen) who blasts agatha, no one will get hurt/die and all will live happily ever after the end

123 notes · View notes

inbabylontheywept · 3 months ago

Text

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

#i feel a kinship with that snake #would that i could be a simple tube #and eat my fill of eggs #but being a person is rather nice too #my wife is a saint #and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy #but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college #and i deserved to just go a little insane #you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs

61K notes · View notes

bigwizardhat · 10 months ago

Text

my cat stopping me from petting her

#my wife made this gif and it’s too good not to use

68K notes · View notes

kensatou · 3 months ago

Text

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

13K notes · View notes

vistarya · 8 months ago

Text

May I have this dance, Mrs Tims?

#sorry guys I know yall want to ship him with the party but I’m a chilchuck x his estranged wife truther and I’m making content for ME!!!!#I’m an advocate for wife guy chilchuck. I think he loves his wife!!! I think he wants to fix his family!!!#life’s too short when you’re a half foot to waste it arguing with the ones you love and I think he’s learned that #chilchuk tims #chilchuck’s wife #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #my art #art #illustration #sketch

9K notes · View notes

rystiel · 5 months ago

Text

i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?

#i think the only issue river would have is that she wasn’t there to witness it #ngl #plus when has the doctor ever been strictly monogamous???#even when he was infatuated with rose he still had feelings for other people too #madame de pompadour anyone ??? hello?? 😭#and river’s been gone for multiple regens now… is the doctor meant to never have a relationship ever again or what #gonna be real i think if rogue was a woman i’d be seeing less Ummm He Has A Wife The Doctor Wouldn’t Cheat Like This takes #i really don’t think the doctor & river were ever strictly only with each other bro like they’ve always had a more open relationship anyway #🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️#doctor who #15th doctor #rogue doctor who #river song #timerogue #dndoctor #yowzah #twiver #ehhh yeah.#y’know ????#also as people have mentioned she’s dead #i didn’t make that part of my post bc timey wimey whatever people still want her to return somehow #so if she *was* alive and the doctor wasn’t literally a widow… she’d have no problem with rogue 😭😭#keepin this post ambiguous for u river return truthers

4K notes · View notes

cantarelaria · 10 months ago

Text

🐶💗🥒

#he is planning how to become shizun's wife as we speak #and I don't blame him #svsss #svsss fanart #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #bingqiu #luo binghe #luo bingmei #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #mxtx #mxtx svsss #danmei #my art #this was going to be dumb meme but then i thought they looked too cute for the pun

6K notes · View notes

rainbow-sunshine-unicorn · 2 months ago

Text

People laughed at Anthony for this:

But, getting married literally solved ALL of his issues

Insomnia? Cured

Alcoholism? He found something better to drink

Anger Issues? Booped out of him

and THIS is who he’s married to:

Like of course, he has no complaints and thinks his marriage is perfect!!!

#bridgerton season 3 #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sharma x anthony bridgerton #kanthony #bridgerton season two #bridgerton #bridgerton memes #LOOK AT HIS WIFE DAWG #why wouldn’t he think his marriage is perfect #marriage watered anthony’s crops and cleared his skin #of course he’s going around being like #🥰🥰🥰 my beautiful wife 🥰🥰🥰#🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 my perfect marriage 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻#you would too!!!

2K notes · View notes

cozylittleartblog · 3 months ago

Text

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!